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  • Ingri Pauline

Beauty is Self-Respect


I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who once said “True beauty is learned.” I have always believed that and taken in to heart when caring for myself.

We live in a culture where, up until recently, women are have been told that only skinny, blonde and blue eyed was beautiful. And if you weren’t, then beauty came from within.

What a crock.

Beauty lies somewhere in between.

Beauty is weird, it is unique, it is graceful and it is lingering. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder - it possesses the beholder. Beauty is cultivated in the in-between moments: when no one is looking at us and we are left with ourselves. When we leave our house, beauty is only appreciated.

If you do any research into this, you will find that looking your best and aging gracefully cost much less than you think.

Real beauty is how you take care of yourself. How well you take care of yourself rolls over into how well we carry ourselves. This is a personal power.

We get sold products, serums, pills, toxins surgeries, airbrushing apps, and cover-up but no one tells young women how to truly look after our skin, our poise and our appearance for the long haul. If you do any research into this, you will find that looking your best and aging gracefully cost much less than you think.

In fact, if we looked after ourselves in a way that is best for our emotional health, self-esteem, skin and budget, we could crumple the mass media beauty industry in less than a decade.

All you have to to is look at the patterns of self care that rule modern beauty cultures, like Korea, France and Russia, and compare them to ancient cultures of Egypt Greece and the Mayans. These cultures have written the books on beauty, skin care and overall allure for centuries. Cleopatra literally wrote a book on beauty full of recipes for soap, baths and natural cosmetics. Real beauty practices have changed very little over time.

If we looked after ourselves in a way that is best for our emotional health, self-esteem, skin and budget, we could crumple the mass media beauty industry in less than a decade.

OK, I get it, if we have Sophora, why would you want to make lipstick from berries? Yes, I love my Kat Von Dee matte lipstick as much as the next gal but I also know that the cycle of cover-up, exfoliate, Botox, repeat will not only ruin your skin after 10 years, it will ruin your wallet and take a toll on your heart.

How well you take care of yourself rolls over into how well we carry ourselves. This is a personal power.

But there is a thing that all these cultures have in common: they are all bathing cultures. Yes, baths: steam, salt, soak, milk, oil, massage and cold dips. The most beautiful countries and cultures know that beauty is about TREATMENT not product.

Next time you are feeling the need to spend some time on yourself or feel beautiful, all you need to do it treat yourself to an hour in the gym locker room with a sauna and a face mask. Maybe draw yourself a bath with salt, milk and honey in the middle of the day when the kids are at school or sleeping. Look into the benefits of essential oils. Even spend an extra two minutes steaming your face at night when you get ready for bed.

Real beauty practices have changed very little over time.

If anything, cut way down on the amount of cosmetics you are using. Use the full face makeup as a secret weapon when you really need to dazzle and disarm your date or foes.

You will feel better basking in the act of beauty, rather than hiding your best self under it.

“If you’re gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.”

-Marilyn Monroe

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